Wally's Waffles and Rats!

Wally's Waffles and Weorgs is in big trouble. Subterranean Pits and Lairs LLC claims they own Wally's after taking over the nearby town of Firedamp! And now they want to shut the tavern down. A family establishment (after all, there's only two or three brawls a week), Wally's is a local landmark, a beloved hangout for all manner of rascals and adventurers in the Used T'Be Forest. Famous for the fluffy waffles, juicy weorg meat, wild amateur singing nights, and most of all, the charismatic, larger-than-life Wally Dunkwhiffle. But tonight, the mood at Wally's is far from lively. If Wally can't find his lost property deed in the basement by sundown tomorrow, SPL is rolling in with sputterdozers to level the place. The truth is, SPL secretly believes that a crystal mine worth a fortune is located beneath Wally's. Wally doesn't know it but they're right!

Wally's Waffles and Weorgs is full of characters, and they've all got something to say about the place.

WALLY DUNKWHIFFLE

Owner and operator, Wally is a burly, scruffy little guy and former Though standing just 4 foot 1 inch, his mirth and melancholy are gigantic. A beloved local figure, Wally is friends with everyone. Well, almost everyone. He's made more than his fair share of enemies too. Traits: Friendly, boisterous, deceptively tough. Motivation: Enjoy a long, uneventful retirement, passing on his restaurant to someone like himself.

HAPPY DUNSTON

The quintessential barfly, Happy generally only leaves his stool at the bar to hit the can. He's a generous spirit, and well-liked by just about everybody, being the only patron to ever finish Wally's Howling Hot Challenge without whistling beef.

• Traits: Cheerful, welcoming, competitive.
• Motivation: Make friends and knock back some rascal cider. “This whole situation is the pits! I've been coming to Wally's for years! I mean, I'm a bona fide celebrity. See that? I'm the only one to win Wally's Howling Hot Challenge. And truth be told, I always hoped another scrappy young upstart like myself would waltz through those doors and join me in the Hall of Fame. But, alas, by sun up, there'll be no more Wally's and no more Howling Hot Challenge.”

KARL THE GOBLIN MINER

A gruff, bearded goblin with a perpetual squint. Karl has been delving into tunnels and caves for years and knows a thing or two about the Underlands.

• Traits: Curt, covered in soot, things were always better “back when.”
• Motivation: Work hard and earn an honest living. “Now where am I gonna go to avoid my family after work? The rascal cider at the tavern in Firedamp tastes like hotdog water.”

RONNY THE PROP COMIC

A spindly boggart standing at the bar with a pair of clown shoes, a flower on his lapel, and pipe with bubbles coming out of it. Ronny is a local comedian shooting for the stars.

• Traits: Gregarious, self-deprecating, sheepish around corporate types.
• Motivation: Become a comedic star and one day make it to Harp's Edge. “Without Wally's I'm gonna have to move my act to Fleabag County. I don't know if I can survive! The prop comedy scene there is cutthroat, I tell ya. I'd rather take an arrow to the head!” Ronny is wearing an “arrow through the head prop” and grinning expectantly, hoping for a reaction. He never breaks eye contact.. PIRATE

TABITHA THE RASCAL

A cunning, silver-haired lady of River Country. Tabitha is a rascal of Rascalton, and well-versed in the whispering hearsay and rumors of the Mucklands underworld.

• Traits: Streetwise, talks under her breath, shares rumors.
• Motivation: Pull off an impressive corporate heist. Tabitha looks up from her game of Huzzah. “Those goons from Subterranean Pits and Lairs, LLC are up to something. Who goes through the trouble to close down a place like this, nearly a mile outside of town? Something's fishy if you ask me.”

ROGRAM THE TROLL

A hulking bridge troll from the Drippy Downs with shaggy, yellow hair and tusks the size of trumpets. Rogram is on his way to a bridge tolling seminar in the town of Thurf.

• Traits: Inquisitive, gentle giant, big burper.
• Motivation: Improve himself through education to expand his burgeoning bridge tolling business. The huge, shaggy troll takes a gulp from his mug and burps. “It's a shame about Wally's. I wonder what he'll do next. You know, they say in his heyday he was a pirate in the Scalawag Strand.”

When acquiring weorg meat became more trouble than it was worth, Wally secretly turned to another food source: KILORATS. Considered horrible, if not dangerous, pests by all in the Mucklands, Wally was all too eager to turn the troublesome beasts into fine cuisine. But it turns out that keeping kilorats in your basement is unsustainable to say the least. They quickly became unmanageable, skittering into unseen cracks and crannies and causing all kinds of havoc. And after eating an entire fermented Bogril Glowing Cheese wheel—a slightly magical Mucklands delicacy—the largest and smartest of the creatures suddenly grew intelligent. The giant kilorat proclaimed himself King Klik and inspired the others to follow him. He developed a cunning plan to free the KILORATS of the basement, and exact terrible revenge upon Wally and all surface dwellers, until the entire realm belongs to the rats! When first confronted by King Klik, Wally barely escaped with his life, so he barricaded the door to his basement, and hasn't reentered in months.

The rumors are true. Wally's Waffles and Weorgs is shutting its doors. You've all made your way to the tavern for one last night of laughter, tears, and tons of sweet, syrupy stacks of waffles with a side haunch of weorg meat. As you walk through the creaky saloon doors, you scan the packed room to see friends you haven't talked to in ages. There's Shumwise the shrym, twiddling his whiskers and hyping up his crazy new business venture. And there's Happy Dunston, the only boggart to ever complete Wally's Howling Hot Challenge and live to tell about it. Rogram the Bridge Troll and Tabitha the Rascal deal another hand of their Huzzah cards. You can't help but feel a pang of nostalgia for this little, scrappy dive where everyone knows your names. Let the PCs roleplay with each other and the various NPCs at Wally's.

WALLY'S HOWLING

HOT CHALLENGE

Eat one flaming hot, chili-hexed haunch of weorg meat on a bed of forty waffles. Time limit is 1 hour, no napkins, no drinks. Vitality Check with Disadvantage—on a 12+ you win the challenge. Winners get their name on the wall and the Heroic Title, Woe of the Waffles.

Wally Thanks the Crowd

Halfway through the night, Wally gets on stage to thank the crowd: “Dearest friends and patrons. It brings me great joy and sorrow to have you all here tonight. Providing the Used T'Be Forest with the finest weorg meat, tastiest waffles, and crispiest fried critters this side of the River Country has been my greatest passion in life. But like I said to my first mate Leef Lavendar all them years ago on the open sea, 'Nothing lasts forever, so let's drink until we die!'” The crowd claps and cheers but is interrupted by the jeers of a pair of SPL mooks: Geddy Fumpkin and Rork Scribblejaw (as L2-B): RIVAL DUNGEONEERS Geddy: “Drink up, Wally! Cuz after tonight, it's curtains for you!” Rork: “Haw haw! Yeah! This place belongs to SPL now!”

Wally Asks the PCs' for Help

After his speech, a nervous Wally approaches the PCs and asks them to find his property deed. It's the only way he'll be able to keep Subterranean Pits and Lairs from taking the tavern away from him.

• “I've looked everywhere, but I just can't seem to find the property deed! It has to be in my basement somewhere.”
• Wally gets quiet. “The rats must have gotten it. Yeah...I've got rats, too big for me to handle, in the basement. Just try to be discreet about it, will ya? People tryin' to eat around here!” If pressed for details on how giant rats got in his basement, he denies any knowledge.

If the PCs Return the Deed to Wally

Once the deed is back in Wally's hands, he calls for a celebration. The legendary Wally's Waffles and Weorgs is saved! “Well, I'll be slapped with a saberfish! You found my deed! We're saved! Look everybody, these here heroes saved the restaurant! Waffles and rascal cider are on the house! The whole place cheers and claps. And as for the goons from SPL? Well, they take note of the PCs as troublemakers before they turn tail and run away from the angry mob of patrons. Wally lets out a belly laugh and continues... “I want to reward you for saving the day. How's about a discount? Wait, what am I saying?! You folks eat free. FOREVER! That's right! Fluffy waffles and juicy weorg meat, as much as you'd like. Your money's worthless to me, ya hear? Eat free and stock up for your adventures! Heck, it's the least I can do!” Every time the PCs come to Wally's, they can each eat a meal and get a Normal Ration of weorg jerky. If the PCs Give the Deed to SPL or Krog & Sons If the PCs betray Wally and give the deed to SPL or Krog & Sons, they'll be paid handsomely (to the tune of two pouches of Ancient Coins), but at the expense of their reputations. They'll be known throughout the Used T'Be Forest as the crooks who swindled Wally out of his beloved restaurant.

If the PCs Help King Klick

If the PCs betray Wally and help King Klik, the kilorat leader will banish Wally, who returns to his pirating ways on the high seas. King Klik then takes ownership of Wally's Waffles and Weorgs, changing the name to King Klik's Waffles & Manflesh. The decor of the restaurant will change to a rat-theme and be managed by kilorat employees. SPL or Krog & Sons will attempt to buy Wally's place, but King Klik won't sell. Instead, King Klik uses the crystal mine fortune to become a powerful restaurateur and expands across the Mucklands.

King Klik is driven by an enormous ego, for being both intelligent and large. He is willing to fight the PCs and exact his grand plan upon the world. But while smarter than the average kilorat, he is also quite gullible and can be tricked if the PCs appeal to his massive ego. He knows little of the outside world and promises of power may entice him. King Klik also comically overestimates his power and influence. His “army” of kilorats numbers two dozen at most. “King Klik hates Wally the Waffle King! Awful, bad Wally cooks rat meat instead of weorg! Kilorats will eat Wally back! Eat Wally's friends! Eat Wally's WORLD!” “First Klik was born for vengeance. Then Kilk stayed for waffles. And soon...soon all OVERLANDERS will tremble at the coming of Klik's great army! A million- bajillion strong! Kling Klik's kilorats will rule the world!” King Klik is also in possession of Wally's property deed. Knowing the importance of controlling the restaurant, King Klik could be willing to trade the freedom of the kilorats for the ownership of the deed. “King Klik has the largest brain! King Klik is superior! Klik knows what you seek. Deed! You seek the deed! But no, you don't have the deed! Klik has the deed! And with the deed comes power! Power of Wally and freedom for my kilorat brethren!” If the PCs try to convince King Klik to forget revenge and leave the basement peacefully, it just might work. But if they Fail or there's a Twist, King Klik might attack the PCs in anger, or even play along with their plan and betray the PCs by launching an attack on Wally himself.