SPL Headquarters

Hex 25.11. Also known as Lord Orfong's Dungeon. The entrance to the central command location for all Subterranean Pits and Lairs LLC (SPL) activities throughout the Land of Eem sits within an unassuming rock mound, west of the Dirtnap Dunes. Below is a massive dungeon, boasting the largest and most centralized monster populations outside of the Underlands itself.

Despite their grand reach, SPL is struggling from bloat and lack of oversight. Due to massive debt and corporate sabotage, SPL is on the brink of collapse. Largely, they believe the self-made tycoon Krog is to blame, but perhaps the real threat comes from Unassailable Co., a profoundly secretive organization known for making unsavory alliances and advancing spectacular dungeon trap and maze technologies.

what's going on

• Orfong's Dungeon is in terrible disrepair and barely has the resources to fix itself because their focus is spread so thin across the Land of Eem.
• Vice Punisher Dastina Brenk is muscling in on Madam Wozinski's control of the SPL empire and plans to cut down Grimly Wood to cement her takeover.
• Lord Orfong is dead but only Madam Wozinski, her admin Frow Naydee, and the hapless stand-in Elmo Ratling know the truth.

sights and sounds

1. Kelly the Centipede makes the rounds delivering mail to the Underlord offices.
2. A man in a three-piece suit and horned helmet zooms by carrying a heavy briefcase.

MADAM MOV WOZINSKI

The Chief Execution Officer of SPL. Due to a lucrative business partnership that has taken her offsite, Orfong's Dungeon is lacking the leadership and oversight it once had. Every day that goes by she risks someone discovering Elmo.

• Traits: Ruthlessly efficient, no nonsense, loyal to the company.
• Motivation: Exploit the legend of Lord Orfong to grow the company and remain at the top of the corporate food chain.

VICE PUNISHER DASTINA BRENK

A rising star at SPL and a real mover and shaker. Brenk is ambitious and eager to show her worth to Lord Orfong to become his right hand. Her bold secret plan is to fell the entire haunted forest of Grimly Wood and use the resources therein to strengthen the company's infrastructure, simultaneously paving the way into western expansion.

• Traits: Incredibly ambitious, cunning to the last, eyes like daggers.
• Motivation: Usurp legendary Chief Execution Officer Madam Mov Wozinski.

3. A boggart janitor unceremoniously sweeps a blob of pink goo into a grate.
4. The sounds of wailing and moaning echo through the halls from some dark dungeon.
5. Lord Orfong strides menacingly through the halls but bumps his head on a door frame. No one dares laugh.
6. The door to a supply closet is open and no one seems to be around.

rumors

• Lord Orfong, arguably the most powerful dungeoneering tycoon, goes missing for months at a time, without a word.
• Vice Punisher Dastina Brenk is planning to cut down the Last Tree in the Used T'Be Forest.
• The treasure hoard in SPL HQ is empty and the executives are scrambling to refill it before their debts are called in.
• Sarpathi are kidnapping SPL dungeoneers by the dozen.
• There's a huge deal going down with a big, secret client that could assure that Subterranean Pits and Lairs LLC are the true masters of the Dungeon Era.

outbound rumors

• Firedamp is about to go up in flames again unless someone finds the source of explosive gas.
• A precious shipment of gold was raided on its way down the Great Slog but the bogrils of Fort Bulwark aren't doing anything about it.
• The Green Gallivanters sabotaged the biggest mill in the Used T'Be Forrest, right under Chief Chopper's nose.

KURG NORRY

Overseear of Goblinoid Resources. The end-all for hiring (and firing) talent at SPL and a great contact if you're looking for a job. But just remember, those “jobs” are more like harrowing quests filled with dungeoneering, cavern exploration, maze navigation, and an (un)healthy amount of deathtraps.

• Traits: Unimpressed, always busy, disinterested in details.
• Motivation: Hire the most ready, willing, eager, and foolish contractors.

FROW NAYDEE

The infamous Madam Mov Wozinski's executive assistant and a well-known gossip. Loose lips like hers would normally be punished severely, but Frow is more than what she seems—in fact, rumor has it she also acts as Madam Wozinski's spy and is up to speed on more rumors than you'd believe.

• Traits: Chatty, wickedly shrewd, susceptible to flattery.
• Motivation: Keep Wozinski's secrets (and calendar up to date) without breaking too much of a sweat herself.

RAL MARKOON

Resident WITCH at SPL HQ, Ral's official title is Fortunes and Forecasting Analyst. His duties include casting bones to predict the business's future production and financial condition, and casting hexes to impede their competitors' future operations.

• Traits: Cryptic, obsequious, chuckles ominously.
• Motivation: Master the foul arts on the company dime and gain the skills needed to eventually take over the world.

LORD ORFONG

A pioneer of the Dungeon Era, and founder of Subterranean Pits and Lairs LLC, Orfong rules from behind the curtains, pulling strings and watching plans unfold over long years and decades. Or at least, he was until he died of old age. The current Lord Orfong is just Elmo Ratling, an actor in a suit, the truth known only to Madam Mov Wozinski.

• Traits: Silent, intimidating, physically imposing.
• Motivation: Presumably, expand the company across all of Eem, but he never speaks.

ELMO RATLING

The boggart inside Lord Orfong's suit, Elmo is a tall, lanky peon with no business being in his position. In fact, it was a complete accident that he got the job in the first place. Originally a janitor, Elmo walked in on the previous Orfong actor taking off the suit. Wozinski immediately fired (executed) the previous actor and made Elmo swear an oath of secrecy. The only reason she didn't “fire” Elmo on the spot was due to his height—a perfect match for Lord Orfong's imposing stature.

• Traits: Hapless, confused, voice always cracks.
• Motivation: Don't screw up long enough to get out of this gig!

quests

ALWAYS HIRING

Overseer of Goblinoid Resources, Kurg Norry has several jobs for freelance dungeoneers and is paying 1 pouch of Copper Coins for each one.

• Job 1: Clear out the clog in the Sewers (2nd Level, Area 6).
• Job 2: Get the black tar machine outside of the Ruins of Ryloch (p368) operational again and drive it back to SPL HQ.
• Job 3: Reset the floor traps on the 3rd Level (see Random Dungeon Traps and Obstacles table in Core Rulebook).
• Job 4: Head into the Tunnels (2nd Level, Area 2), find out where the sarpathi are coming from, and block off the route so there are no more employee kidnappings.
• Job 5: A shipment of vending machine snacks was supposed to come in, but went missing on the way from Beezelburf (p64). Go get 'em.
• The caravan was attacked by WEORGS in Hex 29.10. The food is still intact, but the wagon is in shambles and the driver is missing.

MILLING ABOUT

Chief Chopper's Mill has been sabotaged, severely gumming up the mechanical saw. Dastina Brenk wants you to find out who is responsible and put an end to their nonsense, and maybe even get the saw working again.

• The Green Gallivanters are behind the sabotage, and they make a compelling case for halting industry in the Used T'Be Forest.

THE TREASURE MOLE

Frow Naydee suspects pencil pusher Keef Bartlug is selling secret treasure hoard locations to Sheesh the Fixer in Krogland. Travel to Krogland incognito and look for Sheesh. If you find the maps, bring them right back!

• It turns out Keef Bartlug is working under the orders of Dastina Brenk herself who is funding her secret project by nefarious means.

SCRAMBLED DRAKE

A baby red DRAKE hatched from an egg when Wozinski's favorite cook tried to scramble it for breakfast. Capture and release the DRAKE into the 3rd Level before it gets too big to handle.

• The DRAKE is currently terrorizing the Cubicles. Each time the PCs fail to capture it, the baby moves: first it climbs through the vents into the Breakroom, then leaps into the Fishpool, then down into the Sewers, and if still not caught by then, it scampers up to the Executive Office restrooms.

ON THE BRENK OF DISASTER

You receive a missive from Madam Mov Wozinski who implores you to investigate something for her in her absence away from HQ. She can't trust anyone at Orfong's Dungeon to do the job. Uncover the plans of Vice Punisher Dastina Brenk and stop whatever top secret project she's orchestrating behind Madam Wozinski's back. Contact her trusted assistant, Frow Naydee, if you need anything.

• Brenk's secret business plan is locked away in her office safe on the 2nd Level in Area 4.
• Dastina Brenk's plan is to cut down Grimly Wood, so she's pouring tons of resources into constructing a fleet of shrym treefellers. This is all against the recommendation of Ral Markoon, the Fortunes and Forecasting Analyst who has determined that cutting down Grimly Wood would be, as he puts it, “magically very bad,” due to the haunted, magical nature of the forest.
• With Wozinski out in the field on a months-long operation, Brenk has practically taken control of the company.
• Once the PCs gather enough intel, Frow Naydee suggests that one of them dons the Lord Orfong suit and fires Brenk in front of everyone. Elmo would do it, but he's got a voice about as commanding as wet paper.

lair layout

1ST LEVEL

Area 1: Employee Entrance A thick wooden door adorned with a gold goblin head and a sign that reads Employees Only built squarely in the middle of an inconspicuous rocky mound.

• There's no lock to pick. A sleeping GUARD (L5-G) sits behind the door ready to allow or deny entry. As long as the PCs have a reasonable request, they should be allowed inside.
• The entrance leads down a winding flight of stone stairs to Area 2. Area 2: The Lobby A waiting room full of chairs, lobby planters, and a large desk stamped with the SPL logo. A secretary signs in visitors and schedules meetings.
• Without an appointment PCs wait for hours, and the secretary acts extremely disturbed when asked any questions. The company won't schedule a meeting with an executive unless there's a compelling reason.
• Eventually, Kurg Norry appears to conduct an interview, whether or not the PCs are looking for work, hand waving any objections (see quest Always Hiring p351). Area 3: The Cubicles A fleet of white collar workers push their pencils, fill out forms in triplicate, and file reports. Rows and rows of cubicles as far as the eye can see.
• Practically everyone is miserable and tired. Few pay attention to anything happening around them.
• They keep basic SPL files and documents in a sprawling wall of huge gray file cabinets—but nothing top secret. Area 4: The Executive Offices Locked behind an iron door, non-executives need an access slip to gain entry, usually only given so they can get fired. There are several notable offices in this area:
• Lord Orfong's Office: Strictly forbidden. In fact, Lord Orfong is dead, but no one knows this except Wozinksi, Frow Naydee and Elmo Ratling. Elmo periodically saunters through the office and silently attends meetings in his Orfong costume.
• The office is filled with dreadful paintings of a powerful Dark Lord in black armor, as well as awards and artifacts: a severed UNICORN'S horn, a sword with a blade made of bone, a skeletal DRAGON head, and a photorealistic painting of the 1st Subterranean Pits and Lairs LLC Dungeon ribbon cutting ceremony.
• Madam Mov Wozinski's Office: Where everyone goes to get fired. It has its own lobby run by admin Frow Naydee. Wozinksi also has a desk wug named Zam who spends most of the day napping.
• Dastina Brenk's Office: Always bustling with cronies doing this or that for the ambitious upstart. Brenk's safe is highly secure (Disadvantage on lockpicking) thanks to a lock manufactured by Unassailable Co. This is where she keeps her business plan for taking over the company.
• The Conference Room: Periodically packed with all the executives for company meetings, in which Wozinski frequently butts heads with Brenk. But Wozinski has the fake Orfong on her side, and no one has the courage to question the Dark Lord.

2ND LEVEL

Area 1: The Hangar A vast high-ceilinged cavern full of workers, mining vehicles and equipment.

• Countless mechanics work on a fleet of cave-eaters. There are crates of explosives, and tons of new- fangled shrym devices, the kind that cost a small fortune in Beezelburf.
• A giant crane loads lumber onto a sputter-truck.
• Unless they are dressed in finery like executives, the PCs are mistaken for workers and yelled at for standing around like idiots.
• Workers and vehicles come and go through a tunnel exit to Area 2. Area 2: Tunnel Access The exit leads to an incredibly expansive Underlands tunnel network stretching out beneath the Mucklands.
• Almost impossible to navigate without a map, the untamed Underlands is highly dangerous. SPL loses workers every day to monster attacks.
• The tunnels are not particularly useful to anyone except SPL, but they go on for miles and miles, even outside the Mucklands (under Grimly Wood, up through the western Middle-Route Run). Area 3: The Breakroom A small room where the menial laborers eat their meals and take a load off. This is a great place to hear SPL, Krog & Sons Inc. (p346), and Unassailable Co. (p357) rumors.
• Eddie the MANTICORE often hogs the best table scowling at anyone that makes eye contact.
• The coffee is surprisingly decent, granting +1 Perception for the session.
• A trove of dog-eared Dungeoneer Magazines.
• Snack machine for getting food on the go. Snack Machine Menu Copper •.
• Whim Bim: According to the packaging, this highly processed stick of mystery meat is great to “snap into,” should you be willing to take a chance on it. Gain +1 Charm, -1 Vitality for the session.
• Gummy Morbs: Chewy gelatin cubes with assorted flavors like peach, doohagenberry, melon, and road apple. Heal 2 Courage.
• Gator Water: Pulled from backwater bogs of Quagmash, this milky green GATOR infused shake has the hearty consistency of all-weather paint and is 100% guaranteed to hydrate. Replenish 1 Quest Point.
• Chunch Masterson's Wungalope Chili Shooters: Handy, on the go cups of no-bean WUNGALOPE chili that packs in the protein and knocks out hunger. Heal with Advantage for the session.
• Snark Bar: Chocolate, nougat, and crunchy. Juicy beetle abdomens guaranteed in every bite. Gain +1 Mettle for the session. Area 4: The Supply Closet A closet full of cleaning supplies and a smattering of gear.
• An array of industrial cleaning supplies that not only make surfaces spick and span, they inflict double Dread to MUCKMEN.
• A suit of heavy armor, a large shield, and a mace.
• Several hazmat suits for cleaning really awful messes.
• A long hallway around the corner leads to Area 7. Area 5: The Fishpool A Huge BRAYING SABREFISH (L5-C) swims in a disgusting murky pool some 30 feet below a stone walkway near the Supply Closet.
• The fish is usually fed adventurer parts, and is always looking at the surface to be fed.
• It's not unheard of for especially negligent workers to be thrown in the pool as fish food.
• Traveling through a disgusting sewage grate that empties into the pool leads to the Sewers. Area 6: The Sewers Muck-filled, slimy sewer tunnels that rarely ever get cleaned out. All the janitors avoid sewer duty like the plague (after all, you can catch the plague in the sewers).
• Vitality Check when traveling in the sewers without a hazmat suit. On a 5-, become WEAKENED.
• The tunnels are circuitous and poorly maintained. MUCKMEN and MUNG populate the sewers unchecked.
• 3 mucky vertical tunnel pipes (with ladder rungs for climbing) each lead to:
• The restrooms in The Executive Offices on Level 1.
• The Torture Chamber on Level 2.
• The restrooms next to the Breakroom on Level 2. Area 7: The Torture Chamber A nefarious room full of creative ways to torture: an ancient iron maiden, the Rack 5000, and the Spilt-A- Whirl, among other gnarly devices.
• Horrible screams and groans echo from inside.
• This is where PCs are brought if SPL wants to extract information.
• A janitor named Gabe hoses off slime from the Split- A-Whirl. Gabe complains that the job is thankless, and understands why the last guy, some wannabe bard named Rickety Stitch, quit. Area 8: The Dungeon A wing of dungeon cells to keep prisoners that management doesn't know what to do with, as well as unruly creatures that are put on timeout.
• Two burly GUARDS (L4-B) stand at the entrance.
• The cells are full of a menagerie of creatures including: a CHIMERA, a CURDLE SNAIL, a BLEMMY, two CHROMADYTES, and more.
• Prisoner 40, a mysterious captive, has been locked in the dungeon for decades. No one is exactly sure what for, but they suspect he's an enemy of Lord Orfong.
• Prisoner 40 is a knight of the Order of the Ember who has been wrongfully imprisoned.
• There is an exit to the 3rd Level Dungeon.

3RD LEVEL

The Gauntlet There is an obvious surface level entrance to the 3rd Level that ironically warns against intruders. But really, SPL wants hapless adventurers to enter the massive level of traps and terrible monsters. This is an example of Lord Orfong's revolutionary business diversification. All the valuables of dead adventurers go straight into the SPL coffers!

• The 3rd Level is a RANDOM DUNGEON rigged for adventurers to fail: it's impossible to find any treasure hoard better than a Loot Pile. It is possible, however, to find the way up to Area 8 on the 2nd Level by spending 5 Keys.